A NEW AREA

Finally returning to my favorite pasttime-- blogging:).

The last couple of months have been a whirlwind. New home, new county, new beginnings.

One thing I miss most is not being able to see my friends all the time. I know we are all busy with life but the connections that have been made, time is always desired to just spend time together.

There is much love in our new home and whenever we fill it with our friends, it awakens the home into a warmer place.

I know this blog is confusing but these are feelings I had to reveal and this is the way I deal with the missing of my friends.

My next posts are going to be interesting. You will see.

TIME FOR UPDATES

It has been awhile since I wrote on here and today I felt like catching up on my thoughts.

I think I may make this blog more political.

So much has been happening in the news and I needed a forum to get my thoughts out in.

The oil spill in LA has been heartbreaking to say the least. It has flooded me with so many emotions. I have felt angry at times that big oil companies are able to do what they want because they have such a tight hold on our government. The safety cautions that they ignore is unforgivable. This also goes for coal companies. So many people have died over tragedies that were preventable. Where is that ok? When will these large conglomarates become responsible partners?

Now all I see is our beautiful oceans being overtaken by an oil slick that is unstoppable. Our beautiful planet is being abused because of corporate greed. Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture?

BIZZARE THINGS

SO AS OF LATE, I HAVE BEEN IN A PRETTY GOOD MOOD. LIFE IS MOVING ALONG AT A GOOD PACE AND CHANGES ARE ON THE HORIZON THAT ARE SCARY AND EXCITING. OUR FRIENDS HAVE BEEN SO SUPPORTIVE AND HAVE MADE THE TRANSITIONS APPROACHING EASIER TO HANDLE. I FEEL SO MANY THINGS THESE DAYS AND MOST OF THESE FEELINGS ARE GOOD AND RIGHT.

YET THERE ARE MOMENTS WHERE I STRESS OVER LITTLE ISSUES AND THEN OVER BIG ISSUES. I KNOW THINGS WILL HAPPEN IN THE ORDER THEY NEED TOO, I JUST WISH I HAD MORE POWER OVER THEM.

I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL WHO ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME.

THANK YOU AGAIN

FRUSTRATION AT ITS PEAK

TODAY I MUST WRITE IN RED. THIS IS HOW I FEEL- LIKE I AM AT MY BOILING POINT. PEOPLE JUST NEED TO GET IT. HOW HARD IS IT TO JUST STEP BACK, REEVALUATE, AND THEN CARRY ON.
TO BE MORE HONEST, IT IS MEN WHO MAKE THE WORLD EXTREMELY DIFFICULT AT TIMES. THEY WANT TO DO AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE. LOOK AT OUR STATE- IT IS IN SHAMBLES ALL DUE TO "MEN" WHO DON'T WANT TO TAKE THE INIATIVE AND WANT TO DO AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE AND HOPE THE REST WORKS ITSELF OUT.

WOMEN ON THE OTHER HAND ARE GO GETTERS. WOMEN WORK HARD! THEY LOOK AT THE BOTTOM LINE AND ITS NO WONDER THE SCENE OF GOVERNMENT IS CHANGING TO A MORE FEMININE REGIME. WOMEN MAY BE THE MORE EMOTIONAL CREATURE BUT WITH EMOTION COMES THE AFTERMATH OF CLARITY AND REALIZATION. I THINK IF A WOMAN OR A TEAM OF WOMEN WERE TO LEAD THIS COUNTRY, OUR DEBT WOULD DECREASE DRAMATICALLY AND OUR WAY OF LIFE WOULD IMPROVE.

I KNOW, I KNOW-- I WRITE LIKE THIS BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN. HOWEVER, TO MY SKEPTICS, LOOK AT THE HISTORY BOOKS - THEY DON'T LIE!

Learning Curve

So I spent last night thinking about my life and about all the friends that have come into my life. I thought back to when I was a child and my impressionable years. I thought about all the good friends and all the friends who were just a friend at the moment. I thought about all the people who I thought were my friends. I used to believe that the more friends you had, the better a person you were. Then reality struck and I realized that real friends are not counted in numbers but who is really there for you through all your good and bad times. I am so lucky that I have found my true friends in the last couple years. I have friends from my high school days I talk to here and there via the web. I have friends who I met when I was in college who have become Internet friends. I have friends I met living around town who are still part of my life but are busy with their life's. Then there are those magical friends you experience everything with and you wake up every day thankful you have met them. Those are the friends you plan everything with, who are an integral part of your existence. I can say I am fortunate and love them. They are my reality and they are my family.

NEW IDEAS

I KNOW ITS GOING TO SOUND A BIT OFF TOPIC WITH ME BUT I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT HOW I CAN GET INVOLVED IN HELPING AUTISTIC CHILDREN. I HAVE HAD SOME EXPERIENCE WITH AUTISTIC PEOPLE IN THE PAST AND YOU CAN SEE HOW AMAZING THEY ARE. THEY JUST NEED PEOPLE TO BELIEVE IN THEM AND TO HELP THEM FIND THEIR WAY.

THE AREA I AM MOVING TO ACTUALLY HAS AN AUTISTIC CENTER NEARBY AND I AM GOING TO SEE IF I CAN DO ANYTHING TO HELP WHETHER IT IS VOLUNTEER WORK OR TO ACTUALLY TEACH. I WANT TO DO WHAT I CAN TO HELP THESE WONDERFUL PEOPLE INTEGRATE THEIR IDEAS WITH THE WORLD AROUND THEM.

Recap

Well its another beautiful day in California- not much to bitch about. Life is just grand at this point so today is all about talking about my ambitions. I have so many things I still want to accomplish in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am so blessed to have a great job, great friends, a great husband, my health. I just want to achieve more and not wake up one day having any regrets that I didn't do most of what I always wanted to.

These ambitions include starting a project, business, or company with my bestie. Between the two of us, we know we have what it takes to start something amazing. Our only issue is finding what it is because our time has been so limited to get it going. Once she is done with school, we can really focus on it. Another is to travel some more but this time with my husband. I want him to have a taste of Europe because that is somewhere I feel at home. I also want to teach and give back what I have been so lucky to get. I feel I have so much to offer young adults and I hope I can help change at least one person for the better.

CLOUD 9

WHAT A NIGHT LAST NIGHT.. IT WAS GIRL'S NIGHT AT MY HOME. WE WERE SUPRISED TO LEARN THAT ONE OF OUR GROUP OF LADIES IS WITH CHILD. IT WAS SUCH AN AMAZING MOMENT TO LEARN THAT. IT TOOK EVERYTHING IN ME NOT TO CRY WITH TEARS OF JOY. SHE IS A DEAR FRIEND AND AN AMAZING PERSON. HER AND HER HUSBAND ARE TWO OF THE GREATEST PEOPLE I KNOW. THEY ARE GOING TO BE AMAZING PARENTS.

I AM SO BLESSED THAT I HAVE AN AMAZING GROUP OF FRIENDS AND TO BE HONEST, THIS IS MY GROUP OF FRIENDS I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SINCE I MOVED TO THIS AREA. I CAN NEVER IMAGINE NOT HAVING THEM ALL IN MY LIFE INCLUDING OUR FRIEND WHO MOVED TO TEXAS!

SO A TOAST TO ALL MY BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS-- I LOVE YOU ALL AND CONGRATS TO MAMA TO BE AND LIL BLUEBERRY!

Fresh Beginnings

Yesterday was a great day. I caught up with an old friend I hadn't talked too in a long time. I actually gave up on the friendship thinking things would never change with her. After I saw her yesterday and we caught up on many months of her life, I saw this new woman emerge. One with strength and conviction and change. She has come a long way and I am so happy to see it. I have regained my faith in her and do not expect to see her a lot but know that our friendship has made it through to the next level.

On to other matters, I have a lot of plans in the next few months. Developing a game plan for me and my bestie's business. I am starting to find my footing again after a lot of turmoil. I am starting to recover my confidence.

Whirlwind

What an amazing weekend I had with all my favorite women. We had the time of our life. It was almost a dream it went by so fast. You really don't realize how lucky you are to have the people you have in your life until you go away with them. If you can get along the whole time, you know you have it good and that your relationships are strong with those women.

I cannot say it enough- I am the luckiest lady in the world to be surrounded by strong, independent, beautiful women. With my husband, my dog, our future home on its way, and the women in my life who are my rock, I have it all. Not many people can feel that lucky so I just smile and send a toast out to the most wonderful women I have the privilege to call my best friends.

Life in Reverse

Sometimes I can be my own worst enemy. One of my major flaws is that I get jealous for no reason whatsoever. It makes me feel like less of a person. I don't know where I get that trait from. Perhaps it's from all the years where I got all the attention in the world from my dad and it raised my expectations for all others.

I feel that it is unfair that I have such a sour trait and I thought by now I would have outgrown it. I keep hoping it will diminish at some point to a meager flicker that comes and goes. I need to do a little more self exploration on this emotion.

I am grateful that I have so many emotions and that I can accept my flaws. I just hope to learn from them.

Besties BeWare

It's funny how sometimes you can fall out of sync with the ones you care about. You expect it with your partner, with your family, but when it comes to your friends, you never see it coming. My bestie and I fell out of our groove in the last week and I think it had to do with no time for our one on one time. I know it seems silly but it can happen. Its like with your partner or family- if you don't get a little one on one time with them, it can disturb the nature of things.

So don't forget to put in much needed time with your friends in a one on one setting. Do not think it always has to be in a group setting. I hope this helps anyone out there feeling annoyed, irritated, or frustrated with their friend and they cannot pinpoint why.

CLOTHING OPTIONAL

My girls and I were talking about clothing style this morning and what is seen as in or fashionable. What made this topic interesting to me is that magazines, starlets, and the in crowd seem to think they control the fashion world.

I would like to say that fashion is what you make it. Its what makes you feel sexy, independent, beautiful, alive. For me, sometimes I come off fashionally challenged and I just don't care. What I wear makes me feel good and that is all that should matter. I have had this attitude my whole life. Other people can think what they want and it doesn't affect me one way or another.

Your clothing should be your outlet to make you feel how you want to feel. I know I am only one person saying this but wear what makes you you!

A Sunny Disposition

Its always good to spend time with good friends. It reminds you to be happy and smile. I am so full of joy and happiness today. I know that this blog is all over the place but that is what makes it unique. You never know the direction of the day here.

Work has been good busy and I have had time to reflect on the next steps in my future. I am in the process of planning trips for my honey and I. I am also lucky to be going away with our best friends for the New Year. I feel like someone above is smiling on me again.

My advice for today: Never forget that the world could be crumbling around you, but remember someone always has it worse than you.

If you can grab onto that thoughtm you can make it through any life changing events.

Tides of Change

A new week and a clean slate to boot. I have chosen to take the high road in a lot of the outcomes in my life from that past few weeks. I feel a harmony at the core of my being. It feels good not be full of rage and anger that I was feeling over the last few weeks. I am learning a lot from what has come of my family and know that I will need to be a bigger person.

Exciting news in my career life with the changes that have occurred- I can now refocus on building the website for my family's business and one for my future business venture with my best gal.

I cannot wait to share these two websites with the world to show what we have to offer.

Turning a New Leaf

My anger has been destroying the better of part of who I am. I used to be full of laughs, smiles, and sunshine. Nowadays, I am full of anger, disappointment, and sadness. Working for your family can destroy your hopes and dreams. There should be no reason for that happening, but working for the family can make you lose who you are.

If you want to keep who you are, find an outlet. Whether it's writing a blog, kickboxing, doing a crossword, running, etc.- find what helps you let it all out. With me, I do crosswords, veg out watching my million shows, and working on the beginning steps of my new business venture with my best gal pal. Don't lose focus on your dreams!

A new week, a new thought

So this week, I am trying a new approach- last week was about angst, anger, disappointment, sadness, and confusion. The posts for this week should be full of positive connotations.
My friends were really there for me last week. I want to send them a big thank you from the bottom of my heart and if they ever read these blogs to know they are people who have helped me become who I am today.
I am ready to take the plunge into another area of my life- my business side as I have discussed in previous posts. I really want to make this business idea work with my best gal pal. We want to help others regain who they were or who they want to become. We plan to start creating our site here in the next few weeks and if anyone hears me, what do u want this site to provide that you can see as beneficial?

Saturday

Thanks to this website- I feel that I have worked through some major issues from last week. I was so tired of being angry and not knowing what to do with that anger. Some say I should box, others say I need to find my zen. My conclusion is to write. I know I don't have a professional writing style, but I give it my all.

Today is a day about reflection and about change. All I can see each day is what the future could hold for me. I know there are challenges I have not tried to conquer as of yet. I know there are other paths out there for me to take. I am ready for a change. Something that will make me grow into a more independent and resilient woman. If what happened last week didn't kill me, than I know I have what it takes to forge ahead.

I thank you my fellow bloggers for letting me know there is a place I can air my worries and find who I am again.

Moving forward

Its been a rough week and this venue lets me be myself which is an added bonus. I have been dealing with a lot of family drama that should have never occurred. I feel like some people regress, like they are trying to get out of being an adult. Perhaps they just don't want the responsibility of being an adult. My thought is that if they choose to regress, than let them. Be sure though that they will not affect your progression.

One of my progressive traits is becoming a business partner with my best friend. I know many people say going into business with a friend can be hairy and I will not deny that. You just have to hammer out the basic details and agree on each advancement of the business. Finances can really be the trickiest part of a partnership, so one thing we will make sure of is that we balance the books together.

Day 1 - A New Beginning

I have sat here a million days in a row and have thought about starting a blog. I know that I am probably one of millions on this site who have said just the same thing. I haven't made a decision on what I will say here. I feel this could be my public diary and maybe a place I can bounce ideas off of you- the Public. My best friend and I have dreams of starting a company that would benefit the unemployed. Since our country is in a state of disarray- we thought we could figure a way to help the masses one person at a time. We are still working out the kinks of how our company can help the unemployed. I hope I can grab the attention of you out there. I know I am only one person trying to do something of such a large magnitude- my hope is that I can make a difference in the world one individual at a time.